Lost Without You
by JxTina
Summary: We didn't have a plan. We didn't talk it through. Is it too late to comeback from this? Is it too late to make it work once again? Part of the Seth/Siobhan series (see profile for other stories). SethRollins/OC. TWO-SHOT. Rated M for a reason!
1. Chapter 1

So I guess I've been a little neglectful of Seth and Siobhan. I hope to rectify this with this little two-shot, but I apologise in advance - it's not going to be an easy ride by any stretch. You didn't think it would all just run smoothly for Sethan did you?

As always, thank you all the love you always give me. And as always, super big Roman hugs to LetItReign who once again put up with another whiney email from me when I was unsure of this story's plot. And who also gave me the spark I needed for the next Dean/Becca story. Oh I'm layering on the angst thick and fast people! #sorrynotsorry

 **Warning:** Smut

 **Disclaimer 1:** I only own Siobhan

 **Disclaimer 2:** Lyrics taken from Long  & Lost by Florence & The Machine, used without permission

Enjoy x

* * *

 _Lost in the fog, these hollow hills  
Blood running hot, night chills  
Without your love I'll be  
So long and lost, are you missing me?_

 **Siobhan's POV**

My eyes flicker from the laptop balanced on the edge of the coffee table and the pile of documents in my lap. My fingers flip through the sheafs of paper as I chew my bottom lip.

"Ah..." I murmur to myself as I find what I'm looking for. Placing the other documents next to me, I pick up my laptop and settle back against the cushions. I read through my edits on the paper and make my way through the page onscreen, making my corrections as I go.

The deadline on this proposal is less than forty-eight hours away and for once I just might make it with time to spare. The final draft is hours away from completion and a thrilling sense of achievement whips through me as I cross the t's and dot the i's.

Not for the first time, I've decided to haul ass up to Seth's for the week. Over the last few months, it's become a regular occurrence. Our schedules are synced to perfection, my time here planned according to when he'll be home. Given that he's away for five days out of seven, his apartment is the perfect silent companion, clean and spacious and lacking in clutter and distraction. Well, until he rolls in early Wednesday morning and crawls into bed with me.

It's the perfect set up. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy, how smooth the transition felt with both work and my personal life. Handing Seth a copy of my employment contract was one of the most nerve-wracking and yet rewarding moments of my life. My only intention was to let him know how serious I was about us. I never dreamt that he would take it a step further and offer up his home, his personal space, for me to use when I felt like it. Grateful doesn't even begin to cover it. Not just because of the peace and quiet to complete my work, but the flexibility it offers us.

At first, I planned my weeks accordingly. I followed his working pattern, making my off days the same as his where possible. I'd file away my work, disconnect my laptop and cellphone every Tuesday night. I'd unwind from the week, force myself not to pick at loose strands of work and go to bed, eager to feel his arms around me the next morning. Days spent together would be easy and lazy. Long lie-ins would turn heated over time, his hands slowly stripping away my shorts and tank top as we reacquainted ourselves in more ways than one. Breakfast would drag blissfully into lunch, followed by afternoons on the couch or heading back to bed like giddy love-struck teenagers. There'd be a few hours apart in the evening when Seth would head down to the academy to workout and help with a training session and I would resist logging onto my laptop by taking long, hot baths. Those two days would crawl and fly by in equal measure. Friday would roll around and I'd be logged on the second he walked out the door.

And then my workload slowly but surely started to increase. I picked up another freelance contract with a larger organisation, and along with a number of smaller projects that needed completing with my old employer, it was increasingly difficult to switch off. My days started early and finished late. I was unable to clear away on a Tuesday night and prepare to spend time with Seth. I would work till the early hours and spend the next day exhausted, yet unable to focus on anything other than the merry-go-round of work-related thoughts. The hours that Seth spent in the gym or at the academy became perfect excuses for me to log back on, to finish one bit of work before it was too late.

Deadlines switched from Tuesdays, to Wednesdays, to Thursdays. My points of contacts were understandably unavailable at the weekends, yet demanded updates on my supposed off-days. Off-days themselves started to become few and far between. My phone would constantly buzz at brunch with Seth. It would ring just as we started to watch the next episode of a TV show. It would ping insistently as we kissed underneath the bedsheets.

The last few weeks have been particularly bad, I have to admit. Last week I stayed put in my own apartment, working solidly for days on end. Calls and texts with Seth were brief or non-existent. Plans to spend time with him were shelved for this week instead, the week where I was supposed to have a break. But that hasn't happened. One deadline complete, another suddenly got brought up a week early. So here I am, bright and early on a Wednesday morning, having left Seth asleep in bed an hour ago.

I tick off my amendments as I work my way through the document. An email pings up and I frown at the distraction. But the bright exclamation mark catches my eye and I'm dragged away from the task in hand. Another question to answer, another request to add to the to-do list.

"Hey," a gruff voice rumbles behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Seth in the bedroom doorway, shorts hanging off his hips as he rubs sleep from his eyes. He gives me a warm smile and something inside me stirs. God, how I would love to crawl back into bed with him right now. "What time is it?"

"Eight," I reply turning back to my laptop. Another email pings through.

"Coffee?"

I raise my empty mug and murmur my thanks as he takes it from my grasp. His breath tickles my ear as he leans down and brushes his lips against my temple. I barely break a stride in my furious typing.

The kettle boils in the background as I desperately try to shift back to the task in hand. But the New York office is just starting to swing into action, daily updates, breakfast meeting minutes, replies to emails from last night are all piling into my inbox without any hint of letting up. And I know that the second I avoid them, the shit will start to hit the fan. I make my way through them steadily as Seth returns with a full mug for me.

I can feel him hovering for a second and then he moves away, silent. The bed creaks behind me and I almost breathe a sigh of relief.

The emails settle down after an hour, my replies pacifying the senders. I flick back to the document again. I'm barely a quarter of the way through. The edits and adjustments made took days to even agree. Revision after revision, endless comments made, arguments fought and resolved. I frown, squinting at my scrawled notes in the margins next to a particularly lengthy section.

The shower kicks into action behind me, along with a low hum from the bathroom radio. Seth's voice accompanies it every so often. Usually the sound makes me smile, laugh even. Today couldn't more opposite. My jaw clenches involuntarily as I struggle to make sense of my comments. I search through my emails, my frustration mounting by the second.

"So did you want to grab breakfast?" Seth calls out from the bedroom.

"I can't. I've got to finish this."

"Lunch then?"

"I don't know," I reply, still scrolling. "Fuck!"

A hand slides over my shoulder, squeezing. "Sweetheart, you've been working solidly for the past five days. Maybe you should take a break."

"I can't. I've got to finish this today."

"I thought the deadline was Friday?" Seth's hand slides down my back as I hunch forward.

"It is."

"So what's the problem?"

"I just want to finish it now." I finally find the email I'm looking for, pulling it up full screen and scanning through for the details. Seth's hand runs over my other shoulder, his thumb slowly working its way down the nape of my neck.

"You were asleep with your laptop on the the bed when I'm came in this morning. You need a break."

"Seth..."

"A half hour, that's all." His voice is low, tempting.

"I can't. I'm already behind."

"You just-"

"Fuck, Seth! I said I can't!"

Silence. I daren't look away from the screen. The hand on my shoulder lifts abruptly, leaving me cold.

"Siobhan, all I'm asking is to spend a bit of time with you." Seth's voice is still low, but there's an edge of frustration peeking through.

"I know." I fight hard to keep my own frustration at bay, but I fail miserably. My jaw is clenched, teeth gritted as I stare defiantly at the screen.

"So, take a break."

"I can't. What part of that don't you get?" I snap back.

"I haven't seen you in two weeks. Forgive me wanting to spend some time with you."

"And I've got work that I need to do. Forgive me for actually wanting to get paid." I tear my eyes away from the laptop and finally look up at him. A hard look has graced his face, his jaw defiant as he stares me down.

"I get that you've got a deadline, but you need to eat." Seth speaks slowly, carefully. "C'mon," he softens slightly. "I'm just looking out for you, sweetheart."

But his words do little to calm my annoyance.

"I already ate."

"Bullshit."

"Seth, I really can't do this now. I've got-"

"No."

"No?" I stare at him in disbelief. "I've got a fucking deadline, Seth. What part of that is so difficult for you to grasp? I don't have time for this."

"You don't have time for anything these days."

My eyes narrow. "It's my job. My career. Or is that not important to you?"

"Of course it's important. That's not what I'm saying."

"Really? Because to me, it sounds like that's exactly what you're saying. You're saying that my job isn't worth spending time on. That my job is so irrelevant that I can just drop everything. All for you. Because that's what's important isn't it? Not me. You. And only you."

He stares at me, unflinching. But I can't stop. My anger at the task before me, my frustration at his arrogance, the desperate, floundering sensation that's creeping through me as my laptop pings with another email and another...

"Sure, let me just phone my boss and tell him that I'm really sorry, I can't answer emails today or finish this proposal for him because my boyfriend is a arrogant son of a bitch who doesn't realise that his girlfriend has priorities and responsibilities beyond sucking his dick."

"Siobhan..."

"No, don't you worry, I'll make that call and then I'll just sit here and open my mouth and my legs so you can get your rocks off before you go back on the road."

"For fuck's sake!" Seth's voice echoes around the apartment, his fist slamming down on the back of the couch, making me jump. "All I asked is if you wanted breakfast. Christ!"

"And I told you, I don't have time."

"Like you didn't have time last week or the week before. We've barely spoken two words to each other in the last few days. Is it such a fucking crime to want to spend some time with you? I get that you're busy, I really do-"

"No, you don't. If you did, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now."

"Discussion? You call this a discussion? All I asked is if you wanted breakfast and you fucking fly off the handle at me." He shakes his head, his lips pressed together as he closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose. "Look, I'll leave you to it, okay? I'll go and get some food in, cook you lunch for later yeah?"

His fingers brush across my shoulders once again, but I move away, turning back to the screen.

"Hey," he murmurs, his breath fanning across my skin as he lowers his head to mine. He nuzzles against me, but I move away, my mind already elsewhere, reaching for my notepad. "Jesus, I can't even kiss you now?"

"What?" I mutter, distracted.

"This is what I'm fucking talking about. This is this crap you've been pulling for the last few weeks with me. You don't talk to me, you don't let me near you, what the fuck do you want me to do, Siobhan?"

The laptop slams on the coffee table, paper spilling onto the floor as I reel around and rise, my anger flaring once again.

"I want you to leave me alone!"

"I leave you alone for fucking days! You used to say you look forward to seeing me, now I just feel like I'm an inconvenience. If you don't want to see me, don't set up camp in my fucking apartment."

"Oh, so I can only be here if it means I'm at your beck and call for a few days once a week? I mean I know I joked about that at the start, I didn't realise that you were serious."

"Grow up, Siobhan. You know that's not what I mean."

"No, Seth, that's exactly what you mean. You knew exactly what all this meant. I explained it all you to at the start. You're the one who needs to grow up and realise you can't have your way all the time. Life just ain't that fucking sweet."

"Likewise, Siobhan. You wanted this too, remember. You wanted to go freelance because you were so damn serious about us. If you were that serious about us, you'd make all this shit work."

Our voices are harsh, loud. Poison flies through the air as we hurl words back and forth, tit for tat and back again.

"Right, because this is all my damn fault. Takes two to fucking tango, Seth. Maybe if you didn't have your head stuck so far up your own ass, you'd realise that I am working like crazy to make this work. But shit happens. Work happens."

"Maybe if you took a break, you wouldn't be so fucking wound up."

"Maybe if you left me alone, I could get some work done and then I wouldn't be so damn wound up!" My fingers dig into my palms as I squeeze my hands into fists. I want to shake him, I want him to realise how fucking stupid this all is, what a waste of time this all is.

"Maybe this was a mistake."

His words send me reeling. A mistake? What's a mistake?

"A mistake?" Gone is the frustration in my voice, replaced by fear, worry.

"Have it your way, Siobhan. Have it your damn way." Seth's mouth is twisted into a thin line as he rounds the couch.

"A mistake?" I repeat.

"I'll leave, I'll fucking leave you alone. That's what you want isn't it?"

"It..." But he's already gone, bag swiped from the floor, keys in hand, scowl in place as the door slams behind him.

Fuck.

* * *

 _Is it too late to come on home?  
Are all those bridges now old stone?  
Is it too late to come on home?  
Can the city forgive? I hear its sad song  
_

I don't have time to wallow. I have shit to do. I push the fear to the back of my mind, ignore the nagging worry that pokes at my conscience. I buckle down, closing my inbox to push all my thoughts onto the document before me.

An hour passes and then another. And Seth doesn't return. I hammer on through, making my way through the pages of paper, three left, two left, one... And I'm done. A sense of achievement floods through me as I hit save, make a copy, hit save again, ready to review one final time before Friday. I shuffle paper around the coffee table, arranging it all into neat piles before logging back onto my email one last time.

My stomach groans, desperate for food, but I can't. A lump builds in my throat as I type out a hasty note, making assurances that the proposal will be with the client on Friday as promised and that I need to take some time to myself this afternoon and tomorrow morning. I click through other emails whilst I wait for the reply and immediately log off when I get what I want.

I sink back on the couch, relief washing over me for a split second before I remember.

" _Maybe this was a mistake."_

What was a mistake? This? Us? Me? My mind races through the endless possibilities, my gut twisting as a cold sweat starts to take over. I didn't mean to snap at him. He just caught me at the wrong time. I should have taken a breath. I should have taken his advice, for Christ's sake. I needed to take a step back. All this, it all could have waited. But no. I was too headstrong, too determined to prove a point to my new boss and myself that I had all of this under control.

God, how could I be so stupid?

I've been bad, so fucking bad, at all of this. It was all too easy to start with, I should have known it was too good to be true. I told him I would give it a shot, let him convince me that this would work. And I wanted it to work, I really did. Even through all the shit at the beginning, I wanted this to work. I don't know what happened along the way. Did I just give up?

I squeeze my eyes shut and Seth's sour expression appears before me.

 _A mistake._

Is that really what he thinks of me? Maybe I am. He said it, so it must be a possibility. This isn't what he signed up for. Hell, it's not what I signed up for either. Who wants to come home to find their girlfriend so caught up with her own life, she doesn't even have time for a quick kiss? Fuck. I should have just kissed him back. Then all of this wouldn't have happened. Or would it? I mean, maybe if it didn't happen today, it would have happened some other time instead. Surely this is all one long slippery slope until...

Shit.

A sob rips through me. What if this is it? What if there isn't a way back from this? We barely see each other as it is, the time together is precious. For the last few weeks, that time has slipped away and we've got very little to show for it. All because of me. All because of my stupid pre-occupation with something that, in the grand scheme of things, means very little. Work to live, not live to work... That has always been my motto and I fucked myself over. I let myself get caught up, I let myself get drawn in when it wasn't necessary. I let it cloud my every judgement and look where that's got me.

Alone.

That's what I am. Alone. Because Seth isn't coming back. Not now, not ever. I well and truly fucked this up. There's only so long I can expect him to stick around after this. The sacrifices that he's made throughout his life, pale in comparison to the choices I've made recently. He's put his career first every damn time, but still, _still_ he manges to make time for me. And I can't even do the same for him. Who the fuck wants to date someone like that? Because I sure as hell wouldn't want to date me. Not after the last few weeks. And especially not after the stunt I've just pulled.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If I could just take everything back. Everything. If I had just accepted his sweet gesture, agreed to a half hour break... If I had just stayed put in my own fucking apartment. But no, I want it all. I want everything life has to offer and now that I've got that... Well, had that.

I should've gone after him, apologised, asked him to forgive me. I should've pulled him against me, kissed him, held him, told him how sorry I am, how stupid I've been. But the stubborn bitch inside me thought it would be best to stay here and finish what I'd started. I continued to put work before him.

I pick up my phone and stare at the empty home screen. I don't know what I'm expecting. It's not his fight to apologise for. That's all on me. And I know that. I just don't know if I can face him. That look on his face was something I'd never seen before. Mixed in with the anger and frustration... Disappointment. I close my eyes again, tears starting to streak my cheeks. Disappointment in me. That's far worse than the anger and everything else. I never wanted to make him see me like that. It was never my intention to make him feel like that, like I didn't care, like I don't love him as much as I do.

In almost eighteen months, I've lived and breathed for him. He's become more than a friend, more than a boyfriend. My ache when he's not with me. I cling to him when he is, never wanting to let go. And I still ache, I still cling. I want him more than I ever have before and the thought that all that hangs in the balance thanks to me and my big mouth?

I brush the tears from my face and stand, my whole body trembling. I sniff loudly as I make up my mind.

All those times he's proved to me that he's worth it. I guess it's my turn to do the same for him.


	2. Chapter 2

_I need the clouds to cover me  
Pulling them down, surround me  
Without your love I'll be  
So long and lost, are you missing me?_

 **Seth's POV**

My arms burn as I slide forwards and backwards on the rowing machine. My shirt is stuck to my back with sweat, my muscles screaming for me to stop, but I don't. I keep going, the pain all-consuming as I desperately try to forget everything else. But as much as the pain clouds my mind, there's still a little voice that reverberates around my mind, loud and clear.

I shouldn't be here. I know that. Everyone knows that, including Marek who started to ask me what was up and then decided against it when I glared at him. I should be in my apartment, not the fucking gym. I should be making food, watching TV, playing video games, chilling for a few hours. Most importantly, I should have Siobhan with me, holding her, kissing her.

But maybe that's the problem. I was too caught up in what I wanted to realise that there were bigger things at stake. I knew about that damn deadline. It was the whole reason she was at my apartment in the first place, but I was too selfish to leave her alone. Why didn't I just nudge her and tell her I was going out for a few hours, let her get on with what she needed to do and spend time with her later?

I was tired, pissed off at waking up without her next to me. A ridiculous reason really. I spend most days waking up without her, what made today any different? I could see that frown on her face as she shifted between papers. I knew better than to push my own wants and needs. But I did it anyway.

And then she snapped. And I snapped back, unable to help myself. My temper always got the better of me as a kid. I've spent years training myself to channel it into something useful rather than exploding at people I care about. But today, I just couldn't hold back. I blamed her for something beyond her control.

I know how much her work means to her. If anyone knows what it means to be successful and devoted to a career path, it's me. Her work ethic is ridiculously strong. I admire it, yet I somehow made her feel like it was anything but perfect. I don't know how she does it, I really don't. She's given up so much to be with me and I made her feel like it was worthless, that it didn't mean anything. Because it means _everything_ to me. _She_ means everything to me.

The small panel tracking my distance suddenly comes into focus and I start to slow as I realise I've smashed my original target by a long-shot. I lean forward on my knees, breathing hard as beads of sweat trickles down my forehead and into my eyes. I lift my shirt to wipe my face, eventually tugging it off completely. It drops to the floor with a soft smack and I reach for my water.

I want to take it all back. I want to press re-wind on the whole morning and go back to when I was lying in bed, listening to her shuffling paper in the lounge. I would have played this so differently. I would have stayed where I was for longer, eventually rising to automatically brew her coffee and making her breakfast without a word. I would've placed the food on the table in front of her, silently kissed her forehead and left her to it. I would've gone about some chores, kept clear of her area of the lounge and most importantly, continued to keep quiet.

Because eventually, she would have finished. She would have finished, stretched and looked around. And I could have then been there to offer my congratulations on making her deadline with a day or so to spare. And then it would be our time.

But instead, I told her this was all a mistake.

It was my mistake to make assumptions. But the look on her face immediately told me she'd attached a very different meaning to my words. She was startled, caught off guard. All the malicious intent in her voice disappeared in an instant. She looked small, fearful even. But I was blinded by my own frustration, too pissed to stay put and talk it through. Too arrogant to apologise for things I didn't mean. I stormed out instead, because running away always seems like a good idea at the time.

I want to go back. I want to go back and apologise, but I'm afraid of what I'll find when I enter that apartment. I don't want to go back if she's still working. I've made the situation as bad enough as it is, let alone sparking off round two. But I still need to see her. I need to let her know that I'm sorry, that I support her one hundred per cent.

I need to let her know how much I fucking care about her. That's all. I care about her and I don't want to see her drive herself into the ground with work. That's all my intention was from the start. I just...

I blink at the sound of the door opening and closing at the other side of the large room. Glancing up, I expect to see Marek, determined to get me out of here and back to my apartment or another set of guys coming in for the next class.

Siobhan leans against the wall, thick red-hair framing her pale face as she scuffs her sneaker across the floor. There's a paper bag in her hand, a familiar logo adorning one side. She holds my gaze as I get up from the rowing machine and pluck my shirt from the ground. Tucking it into my shorts, I slowly make my way towards her.

"Hey," I call out. "How'd you know I'd be here?"

"I guessed."

"Right."

I'm barely a metre away now and all I want to do is pull her into my arms. She's still resolutely leaning against the wall, her eyes wary, her voice without emotion, as if preparing herself for...

"I finished the proposal," she interrupts my thoughts. "And I've logged off for the rest of the day... And tomorrow till after lunch."

"Okay."

Her chin starts to quiver. "I'm sorry, Seth." The words are barely a whisper, her voice starting to break. "I fucked up."

"You were stressed out–"

"It's no excuse," she shakes her head, her eyes casting downwards. "I was a prize bitch to you and it wasn't fair."

"I'm sorry too," I offer softly, reaching out to nudge her shoulder. "I said shit I didn't mean. I wasn't fair to you either."

She looks up, unspilt tears glistening in her eyes. "You were right. I haven't made time for you lately. I've been caught up with this client proposal and everything else. I should have realised what's important."

"Siobhan..." My fingers slip under her chin, holding her head up as I wipe at her cheeks with my other hand. "I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean to make you feel like your career isn't important. It is. It's important to you and that makes it important to me too. All I wanted was to let you know I cared about you, that I worry about you. I don't like seeing you stressed. I don't like seeing you on the edge."

"I know," she whispers. "I know you meant well. I just flipped and I don't know why. I'm so sorry, Seth."

I lean down, my lips brushing over hers. "I shouldn't have pushed you, sweetheart. I was being selfish, wanting you all to myself." My arms curl around her, pulling her against me and despite my upper body being coated in sweat, I feel her hands on my lower back, her face against my chest.

"You... You said this was a mistake," she mumbles against my chest.

Guilt twists around my heart. "I know. I didn't... I didn't mean us. I meant... Fuck, I don't know what I meant. I shouldn't have blamed you. It's not your fault."

She looks up at me and I absentmindedly stroke her hair, my fingers tangling in the curls. "It is. You don't have to take the blame for any of this, Seth. I was in the wrong. I should have appreciated what you were trying to do. Shit, what I mean is that I do appreciate everything you do. For me. For us. You work so fucking hard all week and get home and what do I do? Treat you like crap. What kind of girlfriend does that make me? All you wanted to do was spend some time with me and I threw it back in your face. That's not who I want to be."

"It's okay. I know that. I know that's not who you are, Siobhan. Look, c'mere..." I drop my hand to hers and tug her towards the benches on one side of the gym. "We never talked about how this would work. Maybe we should."

She sits next to me, silent for a second. "Okay. I... Oh, hang on..." She offers the paper bag to me. "Apology donuts. I figured I'd preempt your post-workout sugar fix."

I smile appreciatively and get a small grin in return as she watches me take one donut and offer her the second.

"I was thinking," I say after taking a bite and swallowing. "That I could shift some stuff around in the guest room and you could use it as an office. Maybe a clear space where you can keep all your stuff might make it easier to switch on and off from work..."

"That... That would be good. Thank you," Siobhan nods slowly. "But I was also thinking that I need to get out of the apartment a bit more. Set some clear boundaries as to when I'm working and when I'm not. I mean, it won't always be perfect, there'll be times where I need to get stuff done."

"I know. And I guess it doesn't help that my schedule doesn't exactly fit around the normal Monday to Friday."

She shakes her head again. "But if I don't do that, it defeats the point of doing all this in the first place. The whole point was to be more flexible."

"No," I reach for her hand and squeeze softly. "If I remember correctly, you did this because you were serious about us. It was never about flexibility. I get that what you do is completely different to what I do, but it doesn't make it any less important. Not many women would take a risk like you did. You did that for me. That's all you need to do. Everything else? That's on both of us."

"You're too good for me, y'know that?" Siobhan murmurs. "I've just acted like a first class bitch for the past few weeks and here you are telling me that this on both of us. I made this choice, I have to be the one to make it work."

Swallowing the last of the donut, I cup the back of her head and bring her closer to me. Flecks of sugar coat her lips and I fight the urge to kiss them away. For the time being at least. "No-one said this would be easy, sweetheart. But last time I checked, there was two of us in this relationship. Not just you, not just me. Both of us. So in my book, that makes us equally responsible for making this work. You do your bit, I do mine, right? But we do it together."

"This is what I mean, Rollins," she grumbles, but her eyes are soft and full of surprise. "You can't say shit like that to a girl who's been a bitch to you. Not how that works, let me tell you."

I chuckle. "That's too bad, because that's exactly how it works. You apologise, I accept and vice versa. You cooled off, I cooled off and we move on. Simple."

She rolls her eyes. "It's never that simple, Seth. I'm going to fuck up again, you know that..."

"Yeah and so will I. We'll both fuck up at some point." I can't help myself anymore, my lips brushing over hers, kissing away the sugary sweetness. "We're only human, babe."

"I was scared, Seth. I wanted to come after you, but I couldn't, I had to stay and finish–"

"And I'm glad you did. We both needed to get some space, right? No harm in that. And what were you scared of?"

"Losing you." Her eyes are wide, the same fear I saw earlier flickering in the background.

"You'll have to try harder than that," I smile down at her, my thumb grazing her cheek. "You're stuck with me now."

"I love you."

"Love you too," I murmur against her lips once again.

* * *

 _It's been so long between the words we spoke  
Will you be there up on the shore, I hope  
You wonder why it is that I came home  
I figured out where I belong_

Siobhan might have come here to get away from distraction, but she's doing a damn good job of creating her own distraction for me. Her lips are soft and warm as she fists my shirt and pulls me impossibly close.

"Y'know, if you want food, you gotta let me cook it," I mumble into her mouth, my hands defying my own words as they creep up her thighs.

"Yeah, not so hungry anymore," she moans in response. "Not for that anyway."

My dick stirs in my loose shorts as my hands slide over her ass and pull her to the edge of the kitchen counter. Her feet brush against the back of my legs as one hand slides down my back and tugs at the hem of my shirt.

"So what are you hungry for?"

She pulls back and holds my gaze. Her cheeks are flushed, her lips plump, her hair mussed to perfection. "You."

Her fingers tickle the base of my spine, sliding inside the waistband of my shorts. She raises an eyebrow at my lack of underwear before a sly grin tugs at her lips and her hand slides in further, her fingers digging in hard and making me groan.

"Apparently this is supposed to be the best part of arguing," she whispers.

"What is?"

"The making up..." Her lips brush against my earlobe, sending shivers down my spine. "And I really want to make it up to you... In fact, I think I've got a lot of making up to do..."

She nudges me back, her legs slipping from their position around my ass as she jumps down from the counter. Her arm snakes around my shoulders, pulling me down to her once again as I feel her other hand slide over my chest, heading down to scratch my stomach through the thin material. I can't help but groan into her mouth as her fingers finally brush against bare skin. I'm only half aware of her moving me round, pushing me back against the kitchen counter as her mouth slips from mine and latches onto my neck instead.

I help her get rid of my shirt, chucking it blindly behind her as her teeth scrape against my shoulder, down over my pectoral muscles which involuntarily flex, causing Siobhan to giggle and grin up at me.

"Show off," she murmurs, her fingers dancing over my nipples as her tongue traces the deep groove leading further south to my stomach.

She presses open-mouthed kisses to each abdominal as she sinks to her knees, her hands gripping my hips, fingers slipping once again inside my shorts. My desire for her is more than obvious, my tented crotch nudging against her chest as she tugs my shorts down, inch by torturous inch.

A bite to my hip makes me hiss. Her lips press softly in apology, suckling on the tight skin and I growl in response, one hand gripping the counter behind me, whilst the other makes itself at home in her hair. My shorts finally give way to my dick, which springs free against her cheek as she completes her long lick down the V-shaped groove leading to my crotch.

My eyes roll back as her hand grips my length, her thumb spreading pre-cum across the tip. Her mouth is elsewhere, kisses to my thigh as she strokes me. A strangled groan catches in the back of my throat as her tongue dances across my balls, a soft tickle at first and then slow, long licks, followed by her lips closing around one and then the other.

"Fuck..."

She moans softly, the vibrations making me cry out, my fingers curling tightly around thick locks of hair. Her tongue brushes across the base of my dick and my hips jerk forward at the sensation. A soft giggle makes me open my eyes and look down. Siobhan's dark orbs gleam up at me as she presses my dick back against my crotch and with her eyes still on me, runs her flat tongue along the underside from base to tip. She fists me again, her hand gathering the saliva as she shifts on the floor, easing her legs into a more comfortable position.

Her eyes continue to stay on me as she kisses the tip of my dick, her lips slowly parting to make way for the head, which she sucks firmly, her tongue teasing the slit. She sighs softly on release, a lazy grin spreading across her face.

"I missed this," she murmurs.

"Shit, Siobhan..."

"What?" she stares up at me, her face a picture of tarnished innocence. "I'm not allowed to miss sucking my boyfriend's dick? You tell me all the time how much you wanna pin me down and eat me out till I scream... I like to think about how I'm gonna get you off too."

Her lips part once again, her hand guiding my dick back between them, further this time. Her eyes flutter closed as I sink further into her mouth, her tongue twisting over the tip and down the length. A soft moan vibrates through to my core, heat building in the pit of my stomach already as she pulls back for breath and then takes me in again, this time bobbing her head, taking in more of me with every stroke. One hand shifts to my thigh, squeezing firmly as she fists my base.

"Yeah," she exhales as she pulls back again, my dick shining and twitching in her hand. "I really did miss this. You know how good you feel in my mouth? You know how good it feels to get you groaning with just my mouth, what a turn on it is to be on my knees yet bringing you to yours?"

"Jesus..."

She takes me back in again, this time to the hilt, in one smooth stroke and my head is on the verge of exploding at the sight of her lips stretched around me, her face flushed with lust and exertion, her hands gripping my thighs as she slowly guides me in and out. My hand twists in her hair, holding her firm every few seconds as she swallows around me and brings me dangerously close to finishing.

"Fuck, Siobhan... I..."

I pull her back with a grunt, my knees threatening to collapse as I lean down and capture her mouth with mine. I can taste the tangy essence of my dick on her tongue as I desperately try to pull her upright. Her hand fists my dick, then drops to palm my balls, making me growl into her mouth as I grip her arms and pull them behind her back and out of reach of my body.

"No fair," she mumbles against my lips. "I was enjoying that."

"Yeah and I was about to fucking unload and then I would be no good to you." I push her back, my mouth still fighting against hers as I guide her towards the door and back into the lounge.

"That was the idea," she tells me with a smirk. "And then I would just have to get you hard all over again..."

"Later," I groan as I practically man-handle her into the bedroom. "Like you said, I wanna pin you down and eat your pussy till you scream."

She mewls softly as I push her back onto the bed, grabbing her legs before she can move any further. I spread them wide as I ease my knees on the floor. Her pussy is glistens, her clit proudly protruding between her lips and she hisses as I circle it with my little finger. I swipe my tongue from bottom to top, groaning as her juices seep into my mouth.

"Seth..." Her breathing is already shallow and my dick twitches as I realise how much she was getting off on sucking me dry, she's close, so fucking close and it makes my head spin to think about how fucking amazing she truly is.

"Ssh," I comfort, my fingers stroking along her opening, one, then another slipping inside. "I'll get you there..."

Her body starts to twist as I graze my lips across her clit and I have to shift one arm across her hips to hold her in place. I suck slowly, tugging the sensitive flesh between my lips and letting go with a soft pop. My nose rubs against the small strip of hair above her sex and I breathe in deeply, filling my lungs and senses with her scent. I can never get enough, never. I could set up camp between her thighs and not ever want to leave.

Her hips buck against my arm, her pussy tightening around my fingers as I tickle her clit with my tongue.

"Seth, shit... I..."

I give up with my other hand, her hips too violent for me to bring her off as I want. I snake my arm under her thigh, over her waist, locking fists with my other hand and pushing down hard. She cries out, her upper body still able to arch, but her pussy is firmly at my mercy, my lips latching onto her clit as I draw her closer and closer to her release.

"Oh... God... Seth..."

Her body spasms against my grip, but I don't stop, not until she's limp and gasping. Her body jerks softly as I release my arms and push her legs up and away from my shoulders, exposing her completely to me. I lick her clean, savouring every drop of her juices as she moans above me.

I crawl over her, my dick slipping against her opening, her legs falling back against her body, practically bending her in half.

"Siobhan..." I murmur, my fingers brushing against her cheek as I rub against her. "Angel..."

Her eyes flicker open, unfocused for a second. "I'm no angel," she whimpers as the tip of my dick brushes against her clit.

"You're my angel," I tell her firmly, reaching between us to guide myself inside her.

Her legs slip down my arms and I wrap them firmly around my waist and pull back, taking her with me until she sits on my lap. Her arms curl around my shoulders, her head resting on my shoulder as I slowly lift her up and down my dick. I nuzzle at her neck, murmuring my appreciation as she moves one hand to push back her hair. My lips find her neck, soft, barely there kisses that tug soft sighs from her throat. She's coating my dick with her wetness, the sound filling the room as I hold her close, my hand fisting her hair so I can pull her mouth to mine.

Her body is like soft, warm butter, slowly falling apart as I handle her with ease and content. There is nothing better than having her in my arms, whispering in her ear, watching her, _feeling_ her, start to come undone at my command. Her mouth slips from mine with a sharp gasp as I grip her ass tightly and slam up into her.

"Se..th..."

"Cum for me, angel. Cum on me..."

She shivers, her voice an echo as she tenses in my arms and lets her orgasm wash over her. I ease her off me, my hand going to my dick to pump it slowly as she lowers herself onto the bed and crawls towards me.

Her hand bats mine away and I'm more than happy to let her take control. She holds my gaze once again, rubbing the tip, coated in her juices over her lips for a moment before taking me in her mouth one last time. Her tongue slides along the underside, her fist gripping the base. And then she's gripping my thighs, pulling me in and out of her mouth with renewed force as I struggle not to grip her head too hard or ram my dick down her throat without consent.

Her eyes find mine, the briefest of nods.

My hips jerk forward, unrelenting as I pound into her willing mouth, her tight throat.

"FUCK!"

Her fingers dig into my thighs as she holds me firm, swallowing all I give her. She eases back, fighting to catch her breath as she cleans my length with her warm tongue and I struggle to keep upright until she's done.

I pull her up by her chin, my mouth crashing against hers. I can taste both of us on her lips, on her breath. She willingly rolls on top of me as I collapse back against the sheets and pillows. My lips press against her cheek, her nose, her forehead as she settles against me, her head finding it's usual spot between my shoulder and chin.

"Seth..." Siobhan murmurs against my chest.

"Yeah?"

She lifts her head, twinkling eyes meeting mine. "Hope you're in no doubt that I've always got time for that."

I'm tempted to tease, to joke. But...

"I know," I tell her, chuckling at her raised eyebrow.

"No snarky comment? Is that really you, Rollins?"

I laugh properly this time, cupping the back of her head and pulling her closer. "You better believe it, angel."

"I'm not an angel," she tells me again. "Especially after–"

But I cut her off. "It's already forgotten. And you are. Always will be."

"You really do put me on a pedestal," she sighs. "You make it hard to live up to."

"You do it without even trying, sweetheart."

She smiles softly, her lips parting as I kiss her tenderly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," she whispers as we part.

"Then don't think about it." I brush my lips against her forehead. "You'll always have me, sweetheart."

"But..."

I silence her by flipping her onto her back and hovering above her. "Face it, Siobhan," I groan against her neck, pushing her arms up above her head. "You're stuck with me. Forever."

"Seth..."

"I'm never letting you go," I squeeze her wrists. "Never."

"Never," she mumbles against my mouth.

Never.

 **Fin x**


End file.
